October 19, 2015

STAR WARS TFA: More Han! More Chewie! More Racism!

CLICK to visit the official STAR WARS: TFA site

NEW “STAR WARS: TFA” TRAILER PACKS ENOUGH PUNCH TO CRASH TICKET SITES AND FREAK OUT RACIST DARK SIDE

 
As it turns out, the newest trailer for STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS hews remarkably close to what appeared (and didn’t appear) in the poster art released Sunday. Indeed, it looks like the left hand knows what the right hand is doing at Disney/Lucasfilm marketing. That means shot after shot of eye-popping battle action, Stormtroopers up the ying yang, more Han, more Chewie, a “blink and you miss it” Leia reveal…and not so much as a glimpse of Luke. Let the conspiracy theories (and whining) begin!
 
Featured prominently throughout are Daisy Ridley (playing a scrappy scavenger named Rey) and John Boyega (as Finn, a Stormtrooper experiencing a crisis of conscience). Ridley shows she can handle a blaster with the best of them, continuing a long tradition of director JJ Abrams rightly favoring female characters who don’t need a man to complete them (or fight their battles). Rest in peace by that Lake on Naboo, Padme Amidala. We won’t miss you. For his part, Boyega is an exciting addition to the STAR WARS universe, here looking every bit the “next big thing” fans of ATTACK THE BLOCK knew he would be.
 
If you thought the racist bastard contingent was pissed when Boyega made a splash late last year in the first teaser, these addlebrained malcontents are positively apoplectic now. As @scottdylanworth correctly pointed out on Twitter, the haters think it’s great when a black actor plays a villain (and, as I noted, it’s even more speKKKtaKKKular when he’s off-screen, like James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader) but if they’re front-and-center in hero mode, it means the STAR WARS franchise has morphed into a stealth campaign for “white genocide.” I kid you not. Next step? A boycott, of course. It’s the latest lame social-media campaign to be conducted via hashtag. I refuse to re-print the actual #content here.
 
Fear not, fellow Padawans! This is our STAR WARS and we don’t take kindly to dark side dorks trying to suck the fun out of a flight on the Millennium Falcon. Despite stinking up trending topics on Twitter, the “don’t see STAR WARS because it stars a black guy” stunt is already an epic fail. Advance ticket sales launched immediately following the debut of the new trailer and created such a sensation, both MovieTickets.com and Comcast-owned Fandango crashed.
 
While they get their Bantha poodo together, check out the trailer. It’s pretty damn spectacular. If The Force so moves you, share your thoughts in the comments section below. Enjoy!
 

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS opens December 18, 2015 in North America.