(RE)VERSE: THE MINDY PROJECT S2 [FOX]

IN TWEET: A (RE)VERSE IS A REVIEW WRITTEN LIKE A POEM. UP TODAY, A KICKY LIMERICK ABOUT SEASON 2 OF “THE MINDY PROJECT.”

Somehow THE MINDY PROJECT escaped the Grim TV Reaper and got a second season pick-up. Why I’ll never know. It’s a terrible waste of the considerable comedic talent of star Mindy Kaling.

I just watched the second season opener hoping for a phoenix-like re-birth. Alas, all I got was warmed over “more of the same.” To that end, I give you my review of THE MINDY PROJECT in limerick form.

THE MINDY PROJECT

THERE ONCE WAS A KALING NAMED MINDY

WITH ROOTS WHERE THEY SPEAK LOTS OF HINDI.

HER “PROJECT” ON FOX

STINKS WORSE THAN OLD SOCKS

AND IS MORE CLOYING THAN BRADY BRAT CINDY.

Season 2 of THE MINDY PROJECT debuts Sept. 17 and airs Tuesdays at 9:30PM E/P on FOX.

RE-VERSE: WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?

IN TWEET: A RE-VERSE IS A REVIEW WRITTEN IN VERSE. TODAY WE GO HAIKU ON “WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?” IT’S THE LATEST CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY FROM E!

I watched the premiere of WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? so you don’t have to.

It’s no secret that E! wrote the book on lowest common denominator television but, this is bottom feeding of epic proportions. It’s not fun bad or “guilty pleasure” bad, it’s just sad bad. It’s 22 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. On the upside, the show is so vapid, I could multitask while watching and not miss a thing.

Bottom line, Ryan Lochte is so stupefyingly dumb, he could be the spokesperson for mandatory sterilization. If you still think he’s hot, enjoy the cold shower that is WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? Better yet, CLICK HERE and scroll down to the last video in the post. It’s shorter than an episode of the series, less painful to watch and will tell you everything you need to know about this guy. Trust me, it’s a must see clip.

Now, our very special haiku:

WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?

A BITCH SLAP IN HAIKU

Lochte: box of rocks.

A douchebag with gold medals.

Please don’t let him breed.

WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? airs Sundays at 10pm E/P on E!

RE-VERSE: WAYNE LAPIERRE

IN TWEET: A RE-VERSE IS A REVIEW OR COMMENTARY TOLD IN VERSE. WHO BETTER TO MOCK WITH A KICKY RHYME THAN WAYNE LAPIERRE, THE GRAND POOBAH OF THE NRA?

He rants! He raves! He pounds his fists and blames gun violence on video games no one has played for ten years. He’s WAYNE LAPIERRE, the guy who runs the National Rifle Association (NRA).

Let’s be very clear: the NRA is not a member driven organization. That’s just a front for a lobbying machine bought and paid for by weapon and ammunition manufacturers. The NRA generates PR paranoia that whips fringe groups into a frenzy. They use these hapless sheep as their frontline foot soldiers in a war of intimidation orchestrated from the boardroom at NRA HQ. The mission is simple: stop all gun safety regulation and arm everyone.

The easier it is for people to buy guns, ammo and high capacity clips, the happier Wayne LaPierre is. Humanity, humility, empathy and reality are not part of the plan. As far as the gun lobby is concerned, it’s a numbers game. The tighter the regulations, the lower the profit potential.

While most people worry about their safety, the NRA cares only about the bottom line. Murder and mayhem are simply necessary evils in the pursuit of profit and CEO bonuses. That’s not insane. That’s offensive.

WAYNE LAPIERRE

A LIMERICK FOR A ROTTEN MAN

There once was a LaPierre named Wayne.

His rants make him seem so insane.

Guns aren’t just a hobby.

For this guy from the lobby.

That helps those who murder and maim.

NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS VIDEO FROM ANY DESKTOP OR LAPTOP BROWSER. SOME MOBILE BROWSERS, HOWEVER, DO NOT SUPPORT VIDEO PLUG-INS. IF THAT IS THE CASE, CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE VIDEO AND OPEN IN YOUR YOU TUBE APP.

CLICK HERE for an in-depth look at the NRA and those running the organization.

RE-VERSE: GAME OF THRONES

IN TWEET: A RE-VERSE IS A REVIEW WRITTEN IN VERSE. FOR THE FIRST OUTING OF THIS NEW RONTHINK FEATURE, WE CHOSE “GAME OF THRONES” FROM HBO.

Sometimes when you want to write a negative review, turning it into a poem can make the bitter pill go down a little easier. I know many of my fellow geeks love the HBO series GAME OF THRONES. Alas, I’m not one of them.

GAME OF THRONES has everything I dislike in one hugely overblown snoozer of a package: dragons, dirty looking characters wearing pelts, storylines that are deliberately confusing for no valid reason, a deep well of smug self-importance, ugly people having kinky sex, fantasy novel roots, excessive violence and Peter Dinklage.

So, without further pontification, here is the inaugural RONTHINK RE-VERSE!

GAME OF THRONES

A DARK SONNET OF RHYMING COUPLETS

Tonight White Walkers march once more.

Hark! Here comes that crashing bore!

As GIRLS lays waste to comedy

This is death by fantasy.

The cast be large, the critics mused.

Whilst I sat there dazed and confused.

Geekdom is moist with so much love

But I suggest death from above.

For on this turgid GAME OF THRONES

I would launch Obama’s drones.

Season 3 of GAME OF THRONES debuts tonight (Sunday, March 31) on HBO at 9pm E/P.