OPINION: DISNEY SYNERGY DEATH STAR?

IN TWEET: THE LATEST EPIC PARODY FROM SAM MACARONI IS A FUNNY AND WELL-MADE RE-IMAGINING OF “STAR WARS” WITH DISNEY SYNERGY RUN AMOK.

I have been a proud STAR WARS geek since 1977. Even with all of the tinkering and toying by George Lucas, the original trilogy still stands the test of time. Now, however, there is a new disturbance in The Force. One that threatens to destroy more than Alderaan and do damage far greater than Jar Jar Binks, Jake LLoyd and midi-chlorians, combined. The Sith Lord I speak of is new Lucasfilm baby daddy The Walt Disney Company.

All kidding aside, I’m in the “wait and see” camp regarding how Disney will handle this latest acquisition. Having been acquired by the company myself a few years back (when I worked for Fox Family Channel, which Disney purchased and morphed into ABC Family), I can see both sides of the equation. My experience started off rocky and, ultimately, turned out to be a great thing. I look back on my Disney days with fondness and no one can deny that ABC Family has become a big hit.

Disney has also successfully integrated both Pixar and Marvel Comics, leaving both companies intact and functioning at full-throttle. Pixar continues to produce some of the finest animated features in the genre and Marvel ain’t nothing to sneeze at. THE AVENGERS was easily one of the best comic-to-screen adaptations in years. Will Lucasfilm be a three peat or an epic fail?

In short order, Disney elated fans with the JJ Abrams announcement and then pissed off more than a few fan boys with the decision to shutter LucasArts. I’d have a more dubious view of that decision if LucasArts was actually producing great console, PC and mobile content. Let’s be honest, when is the last time you rushed out to get a STAR WARS video game? The franchise has pretty much been reduced to re-tread LEGO sequels (which, for the love of Luke, I hope go bye bye for good) and a lot of hit and miss console and MMO efforts.

I do feel bad for anyone who loses their job but, turning videogames into a licensing business makes a lot of sense and bodes well for the digital future of STAR WARS. Both Disney and Lucasfilm are licensing juggernauts and there is no shortage of third party development companies with the capability of breathing new life into the various Lucasfilm properties.

That brings us to the latest send-up of the STAR WARS franchise. Truth be told, I’m not a fan of most STAR WARS parodies. No, I don’t think the FAMILY GUY episodes are brilliant, sorry.

What I like so much about Sam Macaroni’s STAR WARS VII: RETURN OF THE EMPIRE is how well made it is and that it doesn’t think it’s smarter than we are. Rather than being a cloying, self-impressed bore, it’s a silly, buoyant and ultimately affectionate ribbing of the clash of corporate empires. It’s the right length and never beats a joke into the ground. Plus, the special effects are pretty damn impressive and it’s packed with great visual jokes. Enjoy!

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Click on any screen grab from STAR WARS VII: RETURN OF THE EMPIRE below to visit Sam Macaroni’s Epic Channel on YouTube for more great video parodies! You can also CLICK HERE to check out Sam Macaroni’s official website or CLICK HERE to follow him on Twitter.

OPINION: OILY OIL PR PORN

IN TWEET: A PETROLEUM INDUSTRY ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN FRONTED BY FEMBOT IN PANT SUIT IS PURE PR RUBBISH.

NOTE: INCLUDES UPDATES ADDED ON APRIL 12, 2013. THESE UPDATES APPEAR AFTER THE ORIGINAL POST CONTENT.

Does the AMERICAN PETROLEUM INSTITUTE really think people are going get the warm and fuzzies from a propaganda campaign that looks like it came from the same folks who created the parody ads in ROBOCOP? Apparently so because the oil and gas industry is running this ridiculous spot in heavy rotation right now, often in commercial breaks on news networks during coverage of the Arkansas oil spill.

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First problem: who cast the Fembot in the black Sears pantsuit? Does her wooden delivery inspire anything other than sarcasm and derision? Seriously, is someone holding her hostage in a green screen hell forcing her to deliver propaganda under duress? It sure looks like it.

Even worse, given the headlines in the first three months of 2013 alone, the “triumphs” of the oil biz featured in the spot are especially offensive.

Let’s start with a fun visit to one of those “advanced refineries” Lady Robot tells us about. Behold! This stunning vista comes courtesy of the Chevron refinery in Richmond, CA:

Where’s that “advanced refinery” I mentioned? It’s on fire, after a series of massive explosions rocked the facility in January. Before the next stop on our journey, let’s pause for a moment to stare in slack jawed wonder at all that thick, black smoke spewing into the atmosphere. Ahhhh…gorgeous!

Next up, how about a peek at one of those “billions of investments in America” that Mandy Mannequin assures us is “safely providing” the fossil fuels that feed our oil addiction. We’ve arrived at the Chukchi Sea, along a pristine stretch of Alaska coastline. Get out your cameras, the views are stunning:

 

What’s that metaly looking floaty thing in both pictures? Glad you asked. That’s the Kulluk, a massive drilling platform owned by Shell. It ran aground on New Years Eve and was trapped in this environmentally sensitive area for weeks. This was the second drilling platform owned by Shell to be involved in a major scandal recently. The other rig, Noble Discoverer, is now the subject of a Justice Department investigation after the Coast Guard found 16 major violations in a post-drilling season inspection.

The final stop on our tour is Mayflower, AR. It’s the perfect spot to get up close and personal with one segment of the more than 170,000 miles of “secure pipelines” that Patty Pantsuit notes “many of us never see.”

True that! We don’t see them. In fact, most people in Mayflower they didn’t even know their homes sat right on top of this oil delivery superhighway. That all changed when the “secure” pipeline became not so secure:

 

That black river in the top picture and the swamp in the bottom image are actually what happens when a “secure” underground pipeline bursts. Whatever business, wetland or neighborhood is unfortunate enough to sit on top of said broken pipe becomes a sea of gunk. In this case, it’s Canadian tar sand oil, the stuff that’s so heavy it sinks in water. It’s the same crap that would be pumped through the Keystone XL pipeline.

So, the next time you see blatant propaganda from an oil company or hear chuckle heads like Sarah Palin getting horny for fossil fuels, think back to this post and question everything that comes out of the mouth of whatever hapless actor is chosen to parrot the lies that define the petroleum industry. 

CLICK HERE for first-rate coverage of the Mayflower, AR disaster from Desmogblog.com.

To give you a little something to laugh about, check out this great YouTube compilation of the ROBOCOP parody ads I referenced in the opening. The similarities to the API spot are eerie.

NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS VIDEO FROM ANY DESKTOP OR LAPTOP BROWSER. SOME MOBILE BROWSERS, HOWEVER, DO NOT SUPPORT VIDEO PLUG-INS. IF THAT IS THE CASE, CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE VIDEO AND OPEN IN YOUR YOU TUBE APP.

UPDATES: APRIL 12, 2013

CLICK HERE to read how Exxon is attempting to win over the people of Mayflower, AR in a bold and aggressive move to limit the financial and legal fallout from the spill there. From Reuters.

CLICK HERE to check out the "Arctic Ready" website, a brilliant parody of the Arctic-specific area of Shell's real corporate site. Launched last year, the Greenpeace/Yes Men project continues to dog Shell.

CLICK HERE for an update on the Arkansas spill from THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW. It includes more background info on the Shell spoof site as well as an in-depth look at the Reuters piece.

Finally, here is the full video of the hilarious Exxon parody ad excerpted in the MADDOW segment.

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THE QUICKIE: OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST?

IN TWEET: 1 IN 4 AMERICANS THINK OBAMA IS OR MAY BE THE ANTICHRIST. FOLKS, WE HONESTLY DON’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!

WELCOME TO THE QUICKIE, A NEW REGULAR FEATURE ON RONTHINK. THESE ARE STORIES SO BAT CRAP CRAZY THAT WASTING TOO MANY WORDS ON THEM WOULD BE A GRAMMAR FELONY. ALAS, TO NOT COMMENT WOULD ALSO BE A CRIME.

The 47%? That’s so 2012!  The group we should be worrying about are the 25% who think President Obama is or might be the Antichrist. This is just one of the scarlarious findings in a new poll conducted by Public Policy Polling (PPP). I’d be more inclined to dismiss the results were it not for the uncanny accuracy of the polling from PPP during the last Presidential election. That, and the fact that way too many of our fellow citizens are indeed certifiable lunatics.

This group of ass backwards wackadoos is made up of a loose coalition of Evangelicals, white supremacists, people with bunkers on the grounds of their heavily fortified compounds, whatever is left of that Tea Party train wreck and a good percentage of those still watching any show featuring Donald Trump.

They’re the birthers, the folks who think man and dinosaur roamed the earth together, climate change deniers and anyone with a signed box set of the LEFT BEHIND novels on their bookshelf.

Things weren’t helped any by the Mark Burnett/Roma Downey produced mini series THE BIBLE. This big budget mess (with the hot, ripped Jesus) was a huge hit for History Channel. It also featured an actor playing Satan who bore more than a passing resemblance to President Obama. Of course, everyone involved with the show thinks we’re the crazy ones for noticing any similarities. OK, say that’s true. Did they have to cast an actor from an African country as the most evil character in the Bible?

• CLICK HERE for more details of the PPP poll from Huffington Post.
• CLICK HERE for the UK perspective on the PPP poll from The Independent.
• CLICK HERE for Kate Sheppard’s excellent look at the poll results in her article for Mother Jones.