April 9, 2013

OPINION: OILY OIL PR PORN


IN TWEET: A PETROLEUM INDUSTRY ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN FRONTED BY FEMBOT IN PANT SUIT IS PURE PR RUBBISH.

NOTE: INCLUDES UPDATES ADDED ON APRIL 12, 2013. THESE UPDATES APPEAR AFTER THE ORIGINAL POST CONTENT.

Does the AMERICAN PETROLEUM INSTITUTE really think people are going get the warm and fuzzies from a propaganda campaign that looks like it came from the same folks who created the parody ads in ROBOCOP? Apparently so because the oil and gas industry is running this ridiculous spot in heavy rotation right now, often in commercial breaks on news networks during coverage of the Arkansas oil spill.

NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS VIDEO FROM ANY DESKTOP OR LAPTOP BROWSER. SOME MOBILE BROWSERS, HOWEVER, DO NOT SUPPORT VIDEO PLUG-INS. IF THAT IS THE CASE, CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE HOST SITE.

First problem: who cast the Fembot in the black Sears pantsuit? Does her wooden delivery inspire anything other than sarcasm and derision? Seriously, is someone holding her hostage in a green screen hell forcing her to deliver propaganda under duress? It sure looks like it.

Even worse, given the headlines in the first three months of 2013 alone, the “triumphs” of the oil biz featured in the spot are especially offensive.

Let’s start with a fun visit to one of those “advanced refineries” Lady Robot tells us about. Behold! This stunning vista comes courtesy of the Chevron refinery in Richmond, CA:

CLICK for full coverage from SF Gate.

Where’s that “advanced refinery” I mentioned? It’s on fire, after a series of massive explosions rocked the facility in January. Before the next stop on our journey, let’s pause for a moment to stare in slack jawed wonder at all that thick, black smoke spewing into the atmosphere. Ahhhh…gorgeous!

Next up, how about a peek at one of those “billions of investments in America” that Mandy Mannequin assures us is “safely providing” the fossil fuels that feed our oil addiction. We’ve arrived at the Chukchi Sea, along a pristine stretch of Alaska coastline. Get out your cameras, the views are stunning:

CLICK for full coverage from CBC News. CLICK for more stories from the Emergency Response Division of NOAA.

What’s that metaly looking floaty thing in both pictures? Glad you asked. That’s the Kulluk, a massive drilling platform owned by Shell. It ran aground on New Years Eve and was trapped in this environmentally sensitive area for weeks. This was the second drilling platform owned by Shell to be involved in a major scandal recently. The other rig, Noble Discoverer, is now the subject of a Justice Department investigation after the Coast Guard found 16 major violations in a post-drilling season inspection.

The final stop on our tour is Mayflower, AR. It’s the perfect spot to get up close and personal with one segment of the more than 170,000 miles of “secure pipelines” that Patty Pantsuit notes “many of us never see.”

True that! We don’t see them. In fact, most people in Mayflower they didn’t even know their homes sat right on top of this oil delivery superhighway. That all changed when the “secure” pipeline became not so secure:

CLICK for full coverage from Treehugger.com. CLICK for full coverage from Treehugger.com.

That black river in the top picture and the swamp in the bottom image are actually what happens when a “secure” underground pipeline bursts. Whatever business, wetland or neighborhood is unfortunate enough to sit on top of said broken pipe becomes a sea of gunk. In this case, it’s Canadian tar sand oil, the stuff that’s so heavy it sinks in water. It’s the same crap that would be pumped through the Keystone XL pipeline.

So, the next time you see blatant propaganda from an oil company or hear chuckle heads like Sarah Palin getting horny for fossil fuels, think back to this post and question everything that comes out of the mouth of whatever hapless actor is chosen to parrot the lies that define the petroleum industry. 

CLICK HERE for first-rate coverage of the Mayflower, AR disaster from Desmogblog.com.

To give you a little something to laugh about, check out this great YouTube compilation of the ROBOCOP parody ads I referenced in the opening. The similarities to the API spot are eerie.

NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS VIDEO FROM ANY DESKTOP OR LAPTOP BROWSER. SOME MOBILE BROWSERS, HOWEVER, DO NOT SUPPORT VIDEO PLUG-INS. IF THAT IS THE CASE, CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE VIDEO AND OPEN IN YOUR YOU TUBE APP.


UPDATES: APRIL 12, 2013

CLICK HERE to read how Exxon is attempting to win over the people of Mayflower, AR in a bold and aggressive move to limit the financial and legal fallout from the spill there. From Reuters.

CLICK HERE to check out the "Arctic Ready" website, a brilliant parody of the Arctic-specific area of Shell's real corporate site. Launched last year, the Greenpeace/Yes Men project continues to dog Shell.

CLICK HERE for an update on the Arkansas spill from THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW. It includes more background info on the Shell spoof site as well as an in-depth look at the Reuters piece.

Finally, here is the full video of the hilarious Exxon parody ad excerpted in the MADDOW segment.


NOTE: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS VIDEO FROM ANY DESKTOP OR LAPTOP BROWSER. SOME MOBILE BROWSERS, HOWEVER, DO NOT SUPPORT VIDEO PLUG-INS. IF THAT IS THE CASE, CLICK HERE FOR A LINK TO THE VIDEO AND OPEN IN YOUR YOU TUBE APP.