IN TWEET: A RE-VERSE IS A REVIEW WRITTEN IN VERSE. TODAY WE GO HAIKU ON “WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?” IT’S THE LATEST CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY FROM E!
I watched the premiere of WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? so you don’t have to.
It’s no secret that E! wrote the book on lowest common denominator television but, this is bottom feeding of epic proportions. It’s not fun bad or “guilty pleasure” bad, it’s just sad bad. It’s 22 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. On the upside, the show is so vapid, I could multitask while watching and not miss a thing.
Bottom line, Ryan Lochte is so stupefyingly dumb, he could be the spokesperson for mandatory sterilization. If you still think he’s hot, enjoy the cold shower that is WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? Better yet, CLICK HERE and scroll down to the last video in the post. It’s shorter than an episode of the series, less painful to watch and will tell you everything you need to know about this guy. Trust me, it’s a must see clip.
Now, our very special haiku:
WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?
A BITCH SLAP IN HAIKU
Lochte: box of rocks.
A douchebag with gold medals.
Please don’t let him breed.
WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO? airs Sundays at 10pm E/P on E!